Knowing and being happy that no one else is quite like you should be a fabulous feeling! When you are able to wholeheartedly acknowledge and celebrate your special talents, abilities, and accomplishments, you are well on your way to solid-self esteem – and being a good date! So singles should embrace your time alone.
Of course we want you to be the best dater you can be – but remember, there is nothing wrong with being alone. It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you must be in a relationship every minute, but actually being on your own for awhile is extremely beneficial. Both being single and being in a relationship have their positive and negative points. Don’t forget: Once you live with someone you have to compromise on many things. You can no longer decorate exactly the way you want to. You may have to deal with someone snoring, or tossing and turning and keeping you awake every night. You have to let someone know when you are coming home and be accountable in almost every way. And that’s just the small stuff.
So learn to live large while you are single! Use this time to do your inner work, read, better yourself, take classes, get in shape, volunteer, learn a new language, anything that will improve your self-esteem, further your goals, get you closer to your own truth and make you an even more interesting person when you do meet someone! Take this valuable time to evaluate yourself while waiting for your soulmate to arrive: Can you honestly say that you are living your best life? Are you working in a job that you love? Is the work you do making a difference in the world or at least to somebody? Are you spending quality time with loved ones, making time for contemplation and prayer, living in the now, savoring each moment?
Whether a romantic love partner comes into your life or not, you can choose to express love every day in so many ways. You can offer a smile to a stranger, a hug to a friend, or time to play with a child. You could lend a sympathetic ear to someone with a problem, write a check to a charity, mail a card to a friend to brighten her day, or do any one of a hundred things that will bring some cheer to another. Your life becomes so much richer and rewarding when you place your focus on giving rather than getting.
I can attest to the truth of that concept in my own life. All of the years that I was pursuing an acting career, I was always trying to “get.” I was either trying to get an audition, or in to see a casting director, find the money to take a certain class, or just get some attention… my whole life was spent just trying to get! Even though that’s the name of the game when you pursue a career like acting — you’ve got to shmooze, get out there, meet people and get something going — my destiny was always in someone else’s hands. I was continually reaching for something that was just a bit out of my reach. I did get some work, but it was never enough to pay the bills.
When I went into a field where I was helping people (matchmaking) the focus shifted from trying to get to giving and helping and being of service. That led to me being blessed to be able to write books that has helped even more people! Everything in my life flows much more easily and naturally now. In the process of giving, I am getting more than I could have hoped for. Again, singles should embrace your time alone.
DATING EXERCISE
List 5 new things that you can do to live your life to the fullest today:
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About Marla Martenson