One reason we may stay too long in a relationship is that we hope the person will change. Hoping someone will change to save a relationship is not a good plan.
We tell ourselves, “I’ve found the perfect person for me. If only he, or she, could change this or that, we would be incredible together.” Listen up. This is really quite dangerous! You cannot change someone. It is very important to realize this.
It is so tempting to try to do so when we find someone that seems so irresistible. I have heard too many people, especially women, say something like, “He has such potential. I can change him.” They hook up with someone who is disrespectful toward others, doesn’t like animals, swears a lot, smokes, drinks too much, is into porn, loves heavy metal, hates big cities, is allergic to cats, hunts, watches Monday night football with the guys for the past fifteen years, uses his treadmill as a clothes hanger, prefers hot dogs to caviar, is a Republican or a Democrat, a snob, or a gym rat . . . and then thinks she’ll be able to change him!
Here’s a great tip: don’t waste your time attracting potential. Spend your energy attracting the person who is already right to you! Find someone who already has the qualities that you are looking for in another person. No one wants to be changed or nagged or disapproved of.
Hoping someone will change to save a relationship is not a good plan.
Yes, once two people are in a committed relationship, there are things that each might have to bend a bit or compromise on to live together harmoniously ( Like I said, I am still trying to convince my husband to put down the toilet seat), but in general, you can’t change someone, so don’t even try! If you don’t like the qualities that your partner possesses, either accept him or her the way they are or break up and find a partner who already has those qualities that you are seeking. Stick to your soul-mate script and don’t deviate from it just because you think you might be able to get somebody to conform to it. You won’t!
Hey guys, we have lots of beautiful women.
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